


Letting Go

by Mariabonita



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Light Angst, Missing Scene, Rey Pain Train, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers, reylo!, this fic is my shock blanket
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 10:49:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13052481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mariabonita/pseuds/Mariabonita
Summary: TLJ SPOILERS.  This is my take on Rey's waking up before Ben does after both of them are knocked by the explosion of Anakin's lightsaber





	Letting Go

Rey opened her eyes to Ben, who looked every bit knocked out. As she stood and took in her surroundings, the throne, the room in flames, Anakin's lightsaber split in two and all the corpses laying around including that beast Snoke, she noticed what looked like an escape pod.

 

That was it, her one chance at leaving the chaos in the Supremacy and joining the fight where she was needed. If she hurried, she might still still have a chance at helping the remaining Resistance fighters. She wouldn't forgive herself if she was too late. But before Rey could get to the pod, a groan startled her.

"Rrr… Reeey.. "

A chill shot up her spine before she turned to see Ben and sighed in relief. He was still lying on his stomach, face turned to the side. Whatever he was mumbling besides her name, Rey couldn't make, but he seemed in anguish. As she approached him, she could see his eyes remained closed.

 

Part of Rey was screaming at her to run while she could, but a larger part would not let her leave so easily.

 

_'You're still holding on... LET GO!'_

Ben was right, she kept holding on. It was all she had done all those years in Jakku. It's what kept her in that shithole of a planet, chained to a hope that just wouldn't die. Nearly starving to death most of her childhood. Counting each day while she waited for her parents to come back. Going as far as keeping the same hairstyle or her outfit that she had as a little girl. Fearing that her family wouldn't recognize her if she dared changing at all

 

_'So afraid to leave'_

 

Ben was also right back then, when he had delved into her mind and read her. He would voice what she wouldn't dare say out loud. If it weren't for that whole plight with BB-8, and what came after Takodanna, Rey would have gone back to Jakku and waste away, all because she kept clinging to a hope that had better fade.  

Just like her hope for Ben Solo to come back to the Light.

To join the Resistance

To join her and be the belonging she had sought all along.

As Rey crouched next to Ben, her heart broke all over again as an image of a sleeping young padawan flashed briefly in her mind's eye. Young Ben, whose painful past she had gotten to see so clearly. Ben, whose desperate loneliness was a mirror to her own. Ben who had chosen power over a future together. Ben Solo, the hope she had to let go of

For achingly brief moment, she gently ran her hand through his silky locks, before tracing her fingers down to his face, to her scar, to the lips she had kissed, in a vision, in a dream of a lifetime together. Another promise that would never be fullfilled.

Failing to choke her sobs, Rey rose once again and dashed to the pod, mourning for her dying hope.

**Author's Note:**

> If you've made it this far, thank you very much for reading and I hope you liked it. I decided to write this one-shot, because I was in desperate need for some catharsis after watching the movie. But writing this has felt pretty great, I might give it a try in the future, if the mood strikes me again.


End file.
